Sometimes I really feel like a walking talking contradiction of myself. I don't want this post to get all philosophical and self reflective , nor do I particularly feel like taking a stroll down that confusing line of thought at the moment, instead let's just state the obvious: I'm not afraid of color or pattern. Actually, I'm not just unafraid of those things, I leap at them as though magnetically pulled. If you're thinking "so what?", that's a fair response but here's the thing...most of the time I feel pretty self-conscious about my own styling choices. (Really!) I get really excited about mixing patters, colors, textures and styles but playing with all those options in my apartment is entirely different than taking them for a test drive out in the real world. Sometimes I actually forget what I'm wearing because I've managed to grow accustomed to a particular look or outfit styling; other times, when the style mash-up feels a little unfamiliar to me or I'm in a slightly different context than usual I am fully aware that I stand out. Hello feelings of awkwardness. At this point a million things might go through my head such as 'Where is a damn invisibility cloak when you actually need one."
I had this kind of moment at WantedDesign this weekend. Imagine a whole bunch of design-y people who all seem to know each other...they seem to talk the same, walk the same....and dress the same. Black clothes everywhere. Everyone is in black. Head to toe...black. And I'm in....floral....lots and lots of floral. And pastel floral to top it off. Combine this with a few other minor annoyances enroute to the fair and upon entry and you might understand why that at this point I actually thought about fleeing down the road. (Maybe a field of wildflowers to hide out for awhile...I mean I'd blend in there). The whole time the woman left to get change from my ticket purchase all I could think was "What am I doing here? Clearly I don't belong here."
So what did I do? First I allowed them to tie the neon yellow wristband around my wrist (goes great with pastel florals!) and didn't react when the person doing so commented about the size of my wrists (so glad they make tying the wristband on me easy for you!). I asked directions to the restroom, allowed myself a couple minutes of panic and then made the decision that I was going to enjoy this experience (Hey Jackie, you can breathe now!). The truth is I liked what I had on and I wanted to be at WantedDesign. (The designs were all pretty colorful). Big deal that I "didn't fit in"....in fact, when I thought about it I kind of liked that I didn't fit in. Which makes me wonder...by not fitting in did I actually fit in? Or does this mean I'm actually okay with standing out? Maybe I just like floral prints. Maybe I should just stop over-thinking everything...or think more? Hhhmmm....
Funny side anecdote: About ready to exit WantedDesign I was pulled over by some invisible rope to the See Concept sunglasses....color! I swear at first I only noticed the pink and yellow pairs and then realized there were also black, tortoise shell and navy blue pairs. The vendor was talking about the color preferences of different buyers and said that New York buyers tended to only like the black or tortoise shell ones. The two store owners from Brooklyn commented "Well, New York is a little afraid of color" and then looked at me as if I was going to back them up. I looked myself up and down and said, "Not everyone in New York is afraid of color."
Moral of the story? I don't know but I'm sure it's in here somewhere.
P.S. WantedDesign was awesome!
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